Saturday, December 8, 2012

Musings about Moving...

     We are moving out of state in less than three weeks and I'm partially in denial. Practically I have been trying to get ready, mostly by getting rid of stuff. It seems that in my head there is a sort of echelon of what items are worth keeping if you are moving locally as compared to what items should be gotten rid of when you are moving out of state on a truck that charges by weight. Suddenly, I become less sentimental and more realistic about my aptitude for resourcefulness (no, I probably won't use the Baggie of adhesive Velcro strips that came with something I don't have anymore but that I thought maybe I could use for something someday...) In fact, I am finding a lot of freedom in simplifying and forcing myself to let go of the least essential things.
     My two older children on the other hand...are not. With T it isn't too huge of a problem, it's mostly "out of sight, out of mind." I just sneak out broken toys and pine cones and things he has outgrown as though I am a secret agent. Most of the time he never remembers the items - unless he accidentally sees them in the trash or the donation pile - like the time I had to bring my kids back to a non-profit to retrieve all of my husband's best dry cleaning which were (unbeknownst to me) in the trunk with the pile of donations we had dropped the day before. As if it wasn't mortifying enough to ask for clothing back from a charity, T notices his old bean bag chair in a corner and I drag him out crying.
    B on the other hand keeps everything and also physically card catalogs every single item in her brain. It's as if she has a running rotation in her memory of things she needs to check and make sure she still has. "Mom, where is the ripped foam cowboy hat that came on my cotton candy when you took me to the circus when I was 2 1/2?" It's really quite remarkable. She is getting a little better, but mostly I am trying to figure out how to keep her (and us) off an episode of Hoarders.
    So, I have been focusing on getting rid of things and getting organized, which mostly may be my coping mechanism so that I don't have to think about all of the people we're leaving. We have really great families, the sweetest neighbors, and I truly have some unbelievably wonderful friends that will be ridiculously hard to leave behind. I get teary if I think about it. So,  instead I think about to-do lists and logistics. I have never been good at change, though it seems as though God is giving me lots of practice to get better at it. And I think I am...just maybe  slowly enough to realize that I need to cling to Him all the more.

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